That's How I Naturally Know

Believe in a "Best Method"

2008-07-03T02:20:00.007+08:00

Today, I pen my suggestion that in every situation or problem, there will always be a "Best Method" to proceed on from there or to handle it.

I raised this suggestion back in camp during one of the heated discussion. The purpose of my suggestion is to solve the apparent deadlock of "Should we kill 1 to save 10". (which to me is a no brainer question, but some appeared to enjoy confusing it with many other less important considerations).

First and foremost, knowing the implication of the existence of a "Best Method in every situation" puts meaning to our discussion, otherwise, it's just useless talk. This is something I left out during the bunk-debate and i regretted not having the chance to clarify.

The implication is this:
- If a "Best Method" exist, then we can say there is no other better choice than to choose the best method. Thus we should always choose the best method.
- If a "Best Method" exist, and if a systematic way to discover this "Best Method" also exist, then we can acheive, simple perfection in handling situations.
- If a "Best Method" exist, and if this "Best Method" is known, then we can learn how to handle all situations.

People are confused with "Best Choices" and "Best Method" when I first talked about it. The idea of "Best Method" seems completely remote like they have never thought about it and many have trouble understanding it. So here I present the normal person mindset.

To these people, "Best Method" is hardly differentiable from the "Best Choice" because there is always a newer choice better than the best choice if we are allowed to increase the range of our limited choices. To them, the "Best Method/Choice" is always outside of their limited choices. In addition, everything else is impossible to them just because they currently cannot see them as viable choices.

The dotted arrow represents how a normal person experience an increase in their limited choices: through a feeding mechanism that gives them more choices.

This as you realise, is a very upsetting view. This is simple-mindedness in action and is a completely mistaken concept. Let's look at a better way to see things:

Getting the terms right
- Anything not inside "All Possibilities" are "All Impossibilities".
- All possibilities represent anything that is possible, like assinate LKY
- All options represents possibilities within your ability in that situation, like commiting suicide
- All choices represents options that are deemed approperiate and have passed the sanity tests for an individual person, for that situation, according his abilities. The key difference lies here, in that "All Choices" need not be a subset of "All Options", it can grow to include "All Possibilities" according to the individual.
- The choice is the choosen method, and it must also be the "best choice" as the individual sees it*, otherwise he would not have choosen it.
- The "Best Method", however, is an option that may fall anywhere within "All options"**. In my illustration, it is within "All options" and also within "All Choices".
- The dotted grey circle shows that an increase in "All Choices" does not change*** the "Best Method". It may, however, emcompass a "Best-er Choice" (Better than the previous best choice) as the individual sees it****.
- The "Best Method" may not have been chosen because the individual may have failed to analyse the situation in a "correct" way, if it was within "All Choices".
- If the "Best Method" is not within the "All Choices", it means that there were limiting factors preventing him to include it in the list of "All Choices".

Notes to the terms
* A friend has argued that the choice may not always be the "Best Choice". But I choose to argue that the fact that it was a choosen choice, it must be the "most balanced choice that fulfills the person's objectives" and hence it must be the best choice. For example, knowing that fighting is not a good way to solve a conflict, but yet he fights anyway, is a balance between several attributes such as logic, morals, feelings, emotions and the outcome is the result of how the person weighs them all. Nevertheless, the discussion of a Best Method does not depend on the choice he makes.

** At this stage, the "Best Method" is taken to be within "All Options", so that it is always possible fall within "All Choices". The proof by deduction will be shown later.

*** An increase in the range of choices does not change the "Best Method" no matter where it lies. Furthermore, it does not improve your ability to choose it if it already lies within "All Choices". But it does improve, if it were outside of "All Choices" initially.

**** A simple cause for increase in "All Choices" is an increase in wealth. Hence with more money, one can buy more expensive products. And if and only if the more expensive product is a better product, then the "Best Choice" changes.

For the Elderly

2008-02-19T22:34:00.004+08:00

PART 1:

I went back to school today after another very long time. At some point in time, I went to look for the toilet. Although there are many toilets in NUS, it seems that everytime when you need it it's just so far away from your current location. To get to the nearest toilet, you need to traverse 300 yards west, conquer 2 nothern hills and double jump up another 10 flight of steps.

Now that you are about to complete your quest, the worse thing that can happen and which it did, is see a yellow sign board placed in front of the entrance saying "floor wet"!

What happens next is curse and swear hurled at the toilet auntie inside. I have already lost count of how many times I scolded these aunties silently in my heart, "Lunch time clean what toilet!!! so many people want to use you clean!!! can't you clean other times??"

I was not alone, from our body expressions and unanimous lip sync-ing, I conclude that we are all equally F5-ed and annoyed...

PART 2:

On the way home, we pack ourselves like sardines in 95 bus as usual. Because it's also time for people to knock off, there were also those working old aunties. Conincidently, I saw the same cursed toilet auntie again! But not exactly, because as she strips (old auntie lah! what you thinking!) off her lvl 12 cleaner robes after work, she gains 1058 exp, changing her status immediately.

She is no longer the lvl 12 evil cleaner who deprives us of physical and psyhcological relief. She is now transformed into The Elderly who enjoys discount rides and priority seating on SMRT buses.

At lvl 48, in her disguised form she stands, holding on to the seat handle in front of you, she openly cast lvl 19 pricks into many of our conscience. Those of us who succumb before she exhaust her mana (and mana pots), fall prey to The Elderly and give up their seats eventhough they paid full fares!

The Elderly then possessed the very first victim('s seat) with an increased attack speed buff. The rest of her targets usually suffer damage over time until they get off the bus.

Luckily for me, I have the Gem of True Sight.

PART 3:

Discuss.

Who are the 144000?

2008-01-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

Clicking around the web brings me eventually to another day of bible study. I sometimes find it amazing how easy it is to find Christian stuff about bible, God, Jesus etc and not the other religions. So my guess is that they really got a lot of influence and popularity.

Apparently, a popular question raised from the bible is "Who
are the 144000" that repeatedly appear in the revelation text, and said to have the divine protection from God against the ultimate destruction of the universes, plus a place with God in the heavens.

After reading several explanations and interpretations of the text from different websites and articles online, I realized there is no definite answer.

Many of them employ the use of phrases such as "it is not clear... however...", "the bible did not mention... but we know...". Still there are those who tries to insert words here and there in "the men are spiritual virgins", "there is another 144000 of them...".

Since no one can say anything for sure, I want to take a step back and start to analyse if this question (and mystery and confusion) is even necessary in the first place.

We do this by asking, why people ask this question. Well, there is a definite number of reasons which I will try to list them here.

1. People wants to interpret the text in the correct way.
Sadly, there is no way to confirm which is the correct interpretation until the day arrives, or you meet God in advance.

2. People wants to know if their Church is preaching sensibly
There again, all interpretation sounds sensible to certain extents. That's when "faith" comes into play - follow the crowd and believe blindly.

3. People wants to know how to become one of the 144000
Well, it's not stated anywhere discretely. But abiding by the 10 commandmants may help.

4. People are jealous of the 144000, they want to know what's so special about them to have reservations in the kingdom of God.
Mind you, They are virgins! How difficult is it to be a virgin assuming both physically and spiritually? I therefore conclude these 144000 are babies/lab subjects/mentally ill/brain dead or something along these lines.

5. People are so scared that there are only limited spaces in heaven
The earth shattering news here, is that if the bible speaks the truth, then the truth is that there is indeed limited places in heaven. Now this is from me and it's regardless of whether the 144000 is literal, symbolic or whether it was even recorded in the bible or not. I say this because it is common concensus that some of us is going to suffer hell, this indirectly creates limited places.

[ etc... ]

What are we going to do about it then?
Nothing.

The Church will tell you to have faith, trust in the Lord etc. You can do that if it eases your mind. The Church promises you (using the name of the Lord) that you will have a place in heaven. But who is there to confirm?

But you know what, God says he is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He is all knowing. He knows you even before you were born, or created for that matter. And, he knows where you are going on tribulation day before you even existed! Revalations is written way before any of us here exist. If revalations is the truth of our future, then our future is fixed before the present times come.

What more can you do?

Christianity is like a game of snake and ladders. By choice, luck and opportunity, there are a lot of ways to fulfil your destiny, but there can only be one winner on the last square on the board fixed by the game. If you are destined to lose, you will lose no matter what you do or where you go.

Filial piety is not a duty, it is not a must.

2007-12-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

This post is me against a conventional teaching:

My mother got angry with me one day (quite some time ago). And when she got angry, she ran away from home for a day. During that time, she confided in one of her friends whom I shall call him Uncle here.

Many many days later, I got a ride from Uncle together with my mother again. Incidently, Uncle picked up a small book and chuck it to me and said: "Read this. Don't always shout at your mother (跟妈妈大声小声)"

It was a children buddhist book in the car which has its title translated to english to sound something like: "It's hard to repay our parents who have gone through hardships for bringing us up."

Straight away you and I know what the book is about. Without shame and guilt, I know exactly where I am going to counter the arguments in the book already.

I read quickly (it was not hard to speed read, it's for kids!) and it goes exactly (in meaning) as what I am going to recite here:

A high monk and his disciples were travelling (somewhere, say the deserts) and came across a pile of (human) bones. The high monk quickly fall to his knees and kow tow and paid respect to the bones.

The disciples were shocked, "You are the great one, the most respected and highest of us all. Why did you kneel before a pile of bones?

High monk explained that the bones could belong to our parent's parents and ancestors. "Look at their bones so weak and worn, they must have suffered alot etc etc. We should therefore pay respect to them".

All in awe, the disciple were enlightened and quickly realised how difficult it is for parents to raise their children.

That was the introduction which was only about 6 pages. When I read the next sentence, I stopped:

...you see, A mother has to carry her child in the womb for ten (or nine?) months and that is already a lot to bear...

I bookmarked the page and i chucked it back to Uncle and ask him to read that line and spot the fallacy in that statement.

Pause. Can you spot the fallacy?

Ponder: Turn to God

2007-09-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

SCENARIO 1
Evanglist: Are you leading a life that is without meaning or purpose?
Stranger: Sigh... yes..
Evanglist: Do you often wonder why are you so lost?
Stranger: Yea.. all the time.
Evangelist: Do you often wonder why are you so uncertain about the future?
Stranger: Absolutely! Tomorrow is so scary!
Evangelist: Do you keep drifting around aimlessly?
Stranger: What to do.. don't know what to do...
Evangelist: GREAT! Be a christian!

SCENARIO 2
Evanglist: Are you leading a life that is without meaning or purpose?
Stranger: Err...no...
Evanglist: Do you often wonder why are you so lost?
Stranger: Huh?... not lost at all.
Evangelist: Do you often wonder why are you so uncertain about the future?
Stranger: No.. not at all...
Evangelist: Do you keep drifting around aimlessly?
Stranger: Sorry, can don't watse time or not? I've got things to do.
Evangelist: Oh you people blinded by pride. May God open your eyes to make you realize your life is a full of mess.

SCENARIO 3
Evanglist: Are you leading a life that is without meaning or purpose?
Stranger: Aiyo, so pitiful. So your life got no meaning or purpose lah!?
Evanglist: Do you often wonder why are you so lost?
Stranger: Worse! You so lost still come talk to me?
Evangelist: Do you often wonder why are you so uncertain about the future?
Stranger: Isn't it obvious? You still need to wonder whole day whole night ar?
Evangelist: Do you keep drifting around aimlessly?
Stranger: You really sad case leh... why you life so bo liao onez. Can you go do something meaningful?
Evangelist: Since you've got so many questions for me, please let me invite you to our Sunday sessions.

SCENARIO 4
Evanglist: Are you leading a life that is without meaning or purpose?
Stranger: Oh Yes, once upon a time.
Evanglist: Do you often wonder why are you so lost?
Stranger: Well, many times, before I learn to believe.
Evangelist: Do you often wonder why are you so uncertain about the future?
Stranger: I've finally got the answers!
Evangelist: Do you keep drifting around aimlessly?
Stranger: That's why I'm a Buddhist now!
Evangelist: Oh no no no... Only God can clear the mess out of your life.

I think there must be a better way to evangelism.

Original text from a leaflet:

Are you leading a life that is without meaning or purpose? Do you often wonder why are you so lost and so uncertain about the future, drifting around aimlessly?

Is your life flled with darkness, fear, relentless, sadness and worries?

Do you feel that you have no power to resist temptations and often fall into sins which you regret to the point of hating yourself?

Do you ever wonder how you end up in such a miserable mess? The Bible tells us that this is the inevitable result when man is separated from God, his Creator. Like our first parent Adam, we are trying to live against God and without God. In open rebellion we are sinners.

Quote - "... Dilemma ..."

2007-08-07T18:45:00.000+08:00

"Believing in God is not an Intellectual Dilemma. It is a Moral one."

A moral dilemma?

Reflect - Nothing is Absolute in this World

2007-08-04T19:41:00.000+08:00

I was DDL-ing someone and he said: "Nothing is Absolute in this World. Period".

I'm sure many people have used this statement as and when they need to get out an argument. They take it for granted and believe it's the ultimate truth that can shut people (me) up.

But I quickly dismissed him and said: "Not true". He argued saying "That's your opinion." meaning "it's not the truth - the truth is Nothing is Absolute in this world. Period."

But I can prove the controversy: If Nothing is Absolute, then how can you be absolutely sure that Nothing is Absolute? Moreover, he said Nothing is Absolute in this World. Which world? Your world? or the Universal World?

What this usually implies is that Nothing is Absolute in his World. If he truly believes so, many bad things will happen to him and he is unlikely to live life to the best. The effects of this belief is another full topic you have to analyse yourself.

Sometimes I go around teaching people how to argue. Yes I do. And the first thing I preach is try not to make extreme statements. You can, but try not to.

extreme statements make you lose the battle very quickly if your opponent is quick witted. You leave no back door to twist your argument around.

people use extreme statements because they feel confident about the subject and their believe, and they want to enforce the same on the opponent. However, I would advise that an argument is not for one to prove his superiority, it is for one to learn from the opponent. To understand different points of view and analyse the basis from which it was stemmed from.

The attitude must be right.

Nocturnal Life

2007-08-02T16:00:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to Shu Juan who made me feel excited, hungry and shameful all at the same time.

Worked on the FMSS, as derrick calls it, preshowloop for the whole night and finally came up with something i'm pleased with. nothing surprising or unusual and definitely not what i intended to do. but i'm exhausted to go any further mile to make it better. feel no incentive to do so. then play maple story until it's 9am to wake my brother for Ngee Ann Poly. Then I sleep.....

rise and shine - 4pm. I could have slept longer if not for a client's call. she taught me something interesting today.

"my documents were gone so i decided to use ACER recovery hoping that I can recovery the lost files"

"well, madam, it might be good to note that ACER recovery actually does not recover any files, in fact, it further wipes out your programs that were installed"

"Oh no! but it says RECOVERY!"

"Well... perhaps they meant recover from all the junk programs and files you installed, and the only way is to WIPE THEM OUT!"

Her only hope now (i believe) is to get professional data recovery service at $500 per disk? dotz dotz dotz for her.

Excited
saw many pictures of deliciously looking chocolate and cheese made by her. instinctly, i felt very happy for her! because it's a skill learnt in life. when i see people progress in life, i feel very happy and excited for them. that's me.

Hungry
well.. and of course, with all those goodies staring at you at 4pm, won't you feel touched at all? they are calling out "Rape ME!"

Shame
She actually got my blog address right! eventhough we haven talk in ages she still "checks on me". Which means at some point in her time, I'm still in her mind. That very nice of her. But the problem is, I don't talk and I don't blog. So to those people who still comes to my blog once a while and see a dead blog... very sorry. x_X

Surrender - The Indians are Powerful

2007-02-27T11:33:00.000+08:00

Much of my heart is sinking...

Under a corporate' sky
No one be with you
And no one's gonna be around
If you think that you won't fall
Well just wait until
Til the sun goes down

all around the worldwide - worldwide
There's a very cheap pricing - so wrong
It'll steal your clients tonight

You can try to give in
Pretend they never exist
But you know
But you know that you can't fight the indians
Deep in the dark
You'll surrender your client
But you know
But you know that you can't fight the indians
No, you can't fight them
It's gonna get to you hard

There's no escape from "cheap"
Once a gentle breeze
Weaves it's spell upon your heart
No matter what you think
It won't be too long
Til your in their shoes

all around the worldwide - worldwide
There's a creative design - so wrong
Feel it steal your clients tonight

You can try to give in
Pretend they never exist
But you know
And you know that you can't fight the indians
Deep in the dark
You'll surrender your client
But you know
And you know that you can't fight the indians
No, you can't fight them
It's gonna get to you hard

Don't try then
You're never gonna win

all around the worldwide - worldwide
There's a very cheap pricing - so wrong
It'll steal your clients tonight

You can try to give in
Pretend they never exist
But you know
And you know that you can't fight the indians
Deep in the dark
You'll surrender your client
But you know
And you know that you can't fight the indians
No, you can't fight them
It's gonna get to you hard

You can try to insist
Lower your expectations
Still you know
Yes you know that you can't fight the indians
Deep in the dark
You'll surrender your heart
Cause you know
Really know that you can't fight the indians
No, you can't fight them
It's gonna eat you up

Help - URGENT B+ blood donor needed!!

2007-02-23T16:05:00.001+08:00

Dear All, I have a friend who is down with blood disorder and need alot of donors here.. Please visit http://www.vuox.com/donor/ for more information on what happened... =(

[ update: the patient has recovered since, thanks to all those who had helped in one way or the other =)]

Joke - Chilli Sauce and Tomato Sauce

2007-02-04T11:59:00.000+08:00

chilli sauce, "don't you think i'm hot?"
tomato sauce, "No. you're cold."
chilli sauce, "huh?"
tomato sauce, "chilly source...."
chilli sauce, "OK.... i'll ketchup with you."

that's chilli sauce and tomato source trying to play pun

PS: Hey! This is original from me ok!

Bored - I've been tagged

2006-08-25T17:40:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged!

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.
2. Choose 5 person to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

Favourites
Favourite Colour: cool color.
Favourite Food: Chicken Rice. Oh no.. feeling hungry.
Favourite Song: Anything Jolin.
Favourite Movie: I Not Stupid.
Favourite Sport: well.. soccer? basketball? haven't done these since ORD.
Favourite Day of the Week: Saturday. Wake late sleep late.
Favourite Season: Holiday seasons.
Favourite Ice Cream: something on a waffle would be nice...

Currents
Current Mood: Perplex. Not enough inspiration.
Current Taste: Bad breath.
Current Clothes: Lacking in combination.
Current Desktop: Compaq, but I use Acer laptop.
Current Toe nail Colour: whitish-pink
Current Time: 5:42pm
Current Surroundings: dim. with the evening sun rays through the window directly behind me.
Current Annoyances: Not enough inspiration.
Current Thoughts: Do I need to fetch her?

Firsts
First Best Friend: Leslie Toh.
First Crush: Wah... that's difficult. Can't remember which came first.
First Movie: HUH! forgot already.
First Lie: I never lie <-- first lie today.
First Music: My crying.

Lasts
Last Cigarette: Not yet.
Last Drink: Months ago...
Last Car Ride: In a van.
Last Crush: Err... 2 years 8 months ago.
Last Movie: Davinci Code.
Last Phone Call: Leslie Toh.
Last CD played: If must be a CD, then a blank CD.

Have you ever
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: well... this question in flawed. you can only have 1 best friend, and if you date your friends, why not your best friend? I only date my best friend.
Have you ever broken the law: of course!
Have you ever been arrested: caught in the act. but not punished.
Have you ever been on TV: Sure.
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: Someone i don't know kissed me.

Things
5 things you are wearing: Just undies and shorts.
4 things you done today: picked up a phone call, wake up, wash up, do laundry. in this order.
3 things you can hear right now: The fan, the birds, the kids downstairs, and leslie's whining in my head.
1 thing you do when you are bored: learn new things.

PEOPLE TO DO THIS:
you.

Joke - The Best Programmer

2006-08-25T17:08:00.000+08:00

Jesus and Satan were arguing with each other to see who is the best programmer in the world.

They argue so loud that they woke GOD up.

GOD very irritated so he say "Don't say so much! Let's have a competition to find out!"

Jesus and Satan eager to proof themselves agreed to it immediately and each conjured up the best desktop computer in the market and started programming agressively.

GOD decided to take a small revenge by playing a trick on them, so he summoned a bolt of lightning and *BLAST* - The power went off.

GOD laughed, "So who is the best programmer now!?"

Satan hurriedly switched on his computer again and to his horror, he exclaimed "My hard work's all gone!"

Then GOD turned to Jesus, "How about you?"

Jesus then magically switched on his computer, compiled his program and ran it perfectly!

"How is this possible!!!!" Satan roared in disbelief.

Then the angels started singing "JESUS SAVES!"

Idea - Theory of Evolution

2006-08-08T02:33:00.000+08:00

Some think evolution is how we have come so far, some think "evolution" is just part of anti-christ movements, some say "Darwin denied himself before he died".

Whatever it is... I'm not going to stop thinking about it and I don't want to forget this very strange "discovery" I have. That's why I'm bloggin' now! =)

My mother would always nag at me, complaining about how lazy I am, never take care of myself. Skip meals and doesn't take fruits. Then as usual I'll argue back and give a lot of reasons (or excuses) on why I am I. The main thesis was that I felt it is a watse of time eating.

Although she finally gave up and walked away a grouchy woman, it didn't stop me from continuing the argument with myself as I always would whenever there are conflicts or differences in interests or perceptions between human beings.

I started to think of scenarios where mother hardly find time to buy fruits, then when she come back with them, nobody eats them and she feels sad. Then how in the past when fruit prices were mroe affordable, she bought more often than now. And also when father was still around, he would buy fruits home for everyone to snack on every other day.

My thoughts just went further and further into history. Until it reach prehistoric times i think of the cave men who ONLY COULD eat fruits when they didn't go for hunts.

Then it struck me... isn't this evolution? The theory of evolution generally implies that as times goes by humans learn different things and begin to do things differently, environmental and social changes come into effect and inherently causing biological changes in their bodily structure and habits over long period os time.

So without further illustration or explaination, I think you should know what I'm trying to say: I'm more evolved.

So I'm thinking, if there is no End-Of-The-World, humans may develop ways to stop eating completely. FRUITS? who cares (unless you like it of cos, and not for health sake)

Reflect - Are you a Capacitor, Resistor or just a piece of Wire?

2006-07-10T17:30:00.000+08:00

Only one will light up other people's life on its own.

The Capacitor takes in (haiz... Just up to here, i am already interrupted more than 5 times, and everytime is at least 30mins... see why I don't blog.)

Yah anyway.. i think i can't blog today again.. so i'll cut things short: I'll like to be a capacitor, storing experieces along that come my way and later on light up other people's life with it.

Realization - Tickle IQ Test Results

2006-07-07T13:50:00.000+08:00

I thought this is interesting, but I couldn't post any more characters on Friendster, so i'm doing it here...

Kok Boon, your IQ score is 131
The way you think about things makes you a Complex Intellectual. This means you are highly intelligent and have extraordinarily strong verbal and math skills. Compared to others you are a highly conceptual and complex thinker and are able to understand information in an abstract form. You also show great attention to detail. In fact, it's hard to find something you're not good at.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Complex Intellectual? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Complex Intellectual. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

[Take this test]

Might as well include the previously personality test lifted from Frienster:

You're an INTP
INTP
You're on a quest for logical purity...you're motivated to
examine universal truths and principles...always
asking "Why?" and "Why not?"...can focus with great
intensity on your interests...you appreciate elegance and
efficiency in thought processes and demand it in your
communication...

You might appear low key in appearance and approach, you're
hard as nails when challenging a truth...you don't like to
deal with the obvious...at your best when developing
unusual or complex ideas...you can be an under- achieving
but very capable student...if you don't like a rule, you're
quick to challenge it and find flaws in it -- this could
make you somewhat of a rebel...if you like the rule,
though, you have a respect for it and go along with it...

A relentless learner in areas that hold your interest...you
might seem "lost in thought" to others...you tend to
connect unrelated thoughts...you would rather be the
architect of a plan than the implementer of it...you need a
private, quiet workplace that allows for flexible
independence... would rather organize ideas than people....

You tend to stay away from traditional leadership roles,
and would rather lead with your ideas...you don't get
emotionally involved, but rather tend to follow logical
reasoning.....leisure has two dimensions to you: first, you
like to concentrate and reflect on conceptual matters --
second, you like to take risks in the external world (like
skydiving?)...

You like to read, think, watch TV, play with computers..
(and post on the Storm Palace message bases).. sometimes
you'd rather do these types of things than hang around
other people...you don't necessarily like "best sellers"
or "must see" movies because you don't trust people's
opinion on what's "popular" and would rather make a value
judgment for yourself....

(Got more, but was cut of due to the friendster chracter limit on the Profile>About Me)

Tolerating and Accepting

2006-02-20T10:49:00.000+08:00

I've finally overcomed my laziness and updated Peiru's blog address on the side link. Thanks for the birthday presents! practical indeed. i like. =)

i thought i having been writing for very long already, but one new post each month appears to be still reasonable.

Just read Peiru's post (dated Friday, February 17, 2006, brokeback mountain)about some story book and then and a movie which i think is stupid then "we should not just tolerate but also accept". i guess it's much easier to tolerate than accept.

i tried to make alot of people accept my ideas, but then end up tolerating me. i personally preach toleration than acceptance actually. because i believe accepting without believe is bad, accepting with believe is call enlightenment. accepting could also mean accepting the seeming fact that i cannot be saved, and just leave me alone.

so i when i try to deliever my sermon, i will say, "now, do you agree?" instead of "now, do you accecpt". "And if you agree with me, please be enlightened".

Reflect - Random thoughts of the past week

2006-01-22T12:13:00.000+08:00

They say "I know myself", but probably the thing that they know about themselves is that they know they don't know what they want in life.

Why we fail to unleash our fullest potential most of the time: whenever you act, it is as far as you can remember, and to the maximum of your ability accordingly to your will, at that instance of the act.

Story - Look Who's Getting Smarter

2006-01-07T20:50:00.000+08:00

I like little kids... because, they are little kids.

but nowadays, little kids on the outside doesn't mean little kids on the inside. kids, are behaving more and more like the modern adults.

evolution? revolution? genetic mutation?

more than 20 years ago, i already had the chance to meet a kid who... wasn't really a kid at heart. most adults, or to be more correct, grown ups, would tell his parents that he's so much like a "little adult" who's so distinct among his peers. it's wasn't a bad thing, netiher was it very good too, but he managed to survive through. till now, he is still my best friend and we often meet up in weird places like the bathroom, a quiet night, boring day, in our dreams and at the mirror.

imagine 20 years later. what kind of genes exists nowadays..

little children behaving like adults and grown ups behaving like kids. now my book of kokboon has got more classification.

i was at the 2005/2006 count down and sitting in front of me was a family which had a little girl maybe around 5 years of age and she was already like a princess throwing tantrums when her father corrected her for holding the party popper the wrong way. the fact is that it wasn't very smart of her to hold it at the top where the crepe would pop out, but she didn't listen.

another one i saw just today was kneeling on the seat just next to me whining to her mother. she looked like a 4 year old little girl. but she wasn't cute at all. because she already knew how to threaten her mother and be sacarstic. sacarsism, i thought that was something only adults know. she wanted to catch her aunt's house as the train is about to pass through, so she pestered her mother, asking which side was the house. poor mother said she forgot which side it was, but little girl wasn't convinced and said something like

"if you don't tell me, then i'll miss it and then i'll cry again you know?"

i was so shocked.

then mother started preaching, "you are a big girl now, how can you cry like a baby?"

just then, little girl saw the house and was happy. but mother carry on...

"cannot cry ok? must be good girl"

then little girl say... "aiyah... can3 la4 (die la).. i going deaf soon le la..., hor mama??"

mother preach again. girl repeats... "aiyah... tian ah... yao long le ar (going deaf soon...)" i was shocked again.

i was just thinking after that, a 4 year old child would know such things already then how can education even proceed? so should i keep my child from civilisation until he/she's 7, 8, 9 or 10? or does it mean a baby at 1 to 3 years of age would already understand all the big meaning of life and is prepared to recieve our teachings as parents?

there's little minds have gone real far and fast... grown ups, please catch up and duon't act like kids anymore - PLEASE.

Reflect - Importance Of Existance

2005-12-23T16:20:00.000+08:00

"heyy, i was jz wondering why are we so important to everybody that know us, around us? can you give me so suggestion? i am going to write an reflection on it' thx alot. " - Glor

this is overdue work again. sorry, had been complicated. but this issue never slip off my mind as i promised.

this is a really DEEP topic... but i'm going to just scratch the surface.

actually, i don't really think we are "so important" to "everybody that knows us, around us". to some extend, yes, we may need each other to accomplish things that not one person alone can finish. but everyday, someone dies, and the world keeps moving on, not only that, it's progressing and advancing exponentially.

Are we really important? I guess not. At least not until we make ourselves important.

i'm going to say something that may be quite disturbing and appear rude and egoistic this very moment, please be composed... "I don't need friends, if you think you are my friend, I don't need you at all".

talk about "everybody that knows us, around us" or in other words, anyone close, true friends should be quite close. even that, i believe everyone of us don't need friends. almost everyone doesn't need anyone, then that makes almost everyone not important to anyone.

not just friends, family also the same. even within the same family, we dun really need each other. for these 2 years in the Army, i'm only home once a week and i spend less than 24 hours at home. my family still lived on.

couples should also be the same. seriously, i've told my partner that i don't need her. and she understands my point of view. we can be independant of each other but still remains loving.

when there is no NEED, there is no importance to talk about. and why are we still together? because we simply WANT to be together, because we think and believe we can be better off being together.

and yes. i'm hearing you say "BUT babies NEED people to take care of them!!, haha!! your argument's flawed!!!". yes i agree, but do you need a baby? think about those who don't marry or don't have babies... they survived.

"so what has it got to do with babies needing others!?!"

aha.. that's the whole point of the argument. because of human wants and desires, there creates this misleading feeling of importance.

once upon a time, she has a cell, he has a cell. the cells we happy where they were. one day, cell meets cell not by their will, and a thing called baby appears. baby is here not because he needed to, not even because he wanted to, but he and she wanted to. because he and she wants, he and she has to bear responsibility and love and take care of baby, who, has no choice, but to need them.

when you have a choice, you can choose, then there is no need, only wants. when there is no need, there is no importance.

IF the cells had a choice, the baby would be able to take care of itself.

PS: i know i know, still got handicapped people... these belong to another chapter, but classified together with babies, under the class of "The Unwilling". That's also why i used "almost everyone doesn't need anyone". remember, i'm just scratching the surface.

Reflect - The Neptune, M18 Nude

2005-12-09T06:51:00.000+08:00

went to The Neptune today (acutually yesterday: 0125 already). if you are familiar, you should know that this place hosts M18 nude performance (live). and yes, i watched it.

the function is organized by... an organization which i think perhaps not convenient to mention. the nude performance was published as the highlight for the dinner yesterday night. needless to say, the publication created some hoo-ha amongst the invited, who are supposed to be teenage virgins. should also come as a no-surprise that we expect each other to be shy about it or treat it like a taboo. yet... everyone choses the best seat at the dining tables in anticipation - including myself.

at my table, there were very awkard discussions and critisicisms about the nude dancers because while i joined in the jokes, deep inside me, i was feeling the opposite of the most popular comments like "stupid", "not nice lor", "disgusting", "like that will high meh?", "also not chio one". obviously these were the result of exposure to widespread sex and porn: M18 nudity cannot satisfy. dissapointment was all that is left. luckily there were other interesting performances by a very funny MC Justin and a magician danny. food was not very expensive but quality was there.

so you getting the picture now? how the people felt?

if i think the same way they did, i would have uttered the same boo boo critics. but weird me didn't. it wasn't nice in terms of a nude dance as expectations were higher, but it was still an impressive performance to me. to me, it was not a performance of hail-o-sex or cum-baby-fuck-me (sorry, had to use f***). it was a display of how they uphold their values. while i agree the sexy-woman-who-is-a-man is real disgusting and i almost puke my sotong out... i must appluad him and all the other dancers for their professionalism.

these people danced on stage in almost perfect unison, with the sense of urgency and professionalism to deliver the best performance, to a bunch (hundreds) of mostly unappreciating audiences who either pretended or really didn't pay attention to them, and to me, this is the display of downright apathy. these performers are not blind. they can see what audiences think. they may be laughing stocks up on stage but they embrace their values as an artist and carried out their duties with grace.

the thing that really disgusted me were in fact the same people who criticised them. not only were they shallow in their comments and appreciation, they were also portrayed uncivilised manners. hopefully i'm wrong about them... BUT BUT BUT

imagine hundred over people rushing for the exit even before the MC could thank the floor. do these people deserve the "thank you"? it was not simply a matter of kiasuism, it was a serious lack of empathy and selflessness. if i were 5 year their senior i would have reprimanded them on the spot.

at my table of ten, only 2 (including myself) remained till official dismiss. don't know how you feel, maybe some will feel proud to be first to take the lift. but i was utterly ashamed.

Story - Journey To The West

2005-11-11T16:06:00.000+08:00

abit of previous post: i'm so glad someone reponded to my previous post. show that at least made some people starting to think. read the comments in that post. anyway, i believe that in the end who's the winner and who's the loser doesn't matter. knowledge is never too much, the more the merrier. so why not?

back to today
accomplishment: Journey to the West
Start Time: 0830 hours
Start Point: leslie's house at bedok blk xxx
End Point: kokboon's house at commonwealth blk 56
End Time: 1422 hours
Load: hot pink polo tee, blue giordano belt, blue giordano blues jeans, brown bata sneakers, blue giordano ankle socks, tattered blue converse sling bag containing: 1 x pirated SAF towel from beach road, 1 x number 4, 1 x SAF green socks, 1 x SAF white socks, 1 x ARMY singlet, 1 x SAF shorts, 1 x umbrella briefs, 1 x black income organizer, 13 x A4 paper, 1 x guy lorache steel pen and finally 1 x olympus micro-digital 500.
New record establish: personal longest walking route ever.... (someone find the distance for me pleaseeee...)

Story - Financial Literacy

2005-11-04T12:43:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was kind of in luck to see news on 8 reporting that "Financial Literacy" is now taught in classes!!!! i think it should be like part of what we had as "IS" or "Information Skills". and i couldn't be happier because i knew i was ahead of many people and once again, i'm "government supported"! lols.

for many years since i started deviating from mainstream, there has been a very
strong curiosity over why so many people aren't like me (instead of why i just can't be like everone else).

some people criticsed me for being money minded which i sometimes suspect so too. but on second thought, i don't really think i am.

i knew there is a book "Rich Dad Poor Dad" on the shelf for years and i have heard more praises than anything. knowing that's it's about some thing about education and work and money, i simply avoided reading the book because i just didn't want to be influenced by some people's view. i only want to read it when i have a "stable version" of my principles.

the day came, and i read it. i must say i was real boring... because much as i expect, alot of the suggested ideas were as much as mine. except for one: Finanacial Literacy. that really solved my curiosity for so many years.

some how at the back of my mind i know it is something abot education, but i weren't able to put in in words. and when the word crossed me, i just went "eureka"!

so now i can say that people are not like me becase that lack finiacial literacy. people these days lack knowledge of cash management, investment possibilities, corporate and trade laws, financial plannign and etc. even accounting students may not fully understand and harness its powers. that's why a lot of people just didn't do anything about it! it's not that people simply don't bother, it's they didn't know there is something to be done about or the importance of dong something about it. Because all the years they have, probably no one would teach them financial literacy.

With my usual character, when i realize what people lack is this thing called "financial literacy", i tried to induce the topic among friends: some read the book, some not. then again, to my dissapointment... they are either not interested or they think i'm preaching again, and often in facial disgust implying, "Who do you think you are telling us what to do?" or "can you just be like one of us and stop your nonsense?".

seriously friends, for those who missed it, treat it seriously.

Quote - "Chance of people giving way to you is inversely proportionate to you walking speed"

2005-10-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

popped by some very interesting blogs along the way online today and i've awarded a honorable mention to this investigation cum discovery by this blogger who posted his hypothesis. he had one and only one comment for this article and it said - "LAME".

well.. i don't think it's that lame anyway, in fact, intriguing! haha.. i've never thought of this cos' it has never bothered me. anyway, the results:

when u're walking in a crowded area, ever wonder why ppl sometimes give way to u, while others dun? Note dat The Chances of ppl giving way to u is Inversely Proportional to your walking speed. Makes sense? if u're running against a flow of traffic, u'll realise u're doing the avoiding instead of ppl. but if u're almost standing still, most ppl will give way, since there's no point trying to move against your walking lane.

i think it's quite true... ha.

Quote - "Money Is Not A Problem, The Problem is No Money"

2005-10-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

that says it all... =/

Story - What's Wrong With America And France

2005-10-16T12:04:00.000+08:00

Online surfing really brings much insight after a good night's sleep! I was about to start a new design for Realize Creations but ended up in google and then somehow came across some instruction on my friend's blog which said:

Type 'French Military Victories' into Google and hit "I'm feeling lucky".
For even more fun, then click on what it suggests...

got into some laughs after that. but i went on futher and realize that some how america and france wasn't in very good terms now - you probably know - and there were more amusing political humour around... like they change what was "french fries" to "freedom fries"; Swiss army knife to Fench army knife; and the rejected statue of liberty.

that's... interestingly funny... =)

Reflect - The Ideal Person

2005-10-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

My vision of an Ideal Person, that i would like to be:

1. good academic results
2. play at least one sports well
3. play at least one musical instrument well
4. well learned in Information Technology
5. well versed in at least one area of Arts (Painting/Drawing, Literature, History etc.)
6. of high moral and ethical personality
7. possesses great analytic and critical thinking skills

still working towards it.. i'm jack of all trades master of none... =/

Story - Religious Societies Go Mobile

2005-10-09T11:23:00.000+08:00

First it was a Muslim phone, then now it's a Christian SMS Bible.

The new Muslim phone in the market could actually set reminders for prayer times to even point in the direction of Mecca with some GPS system. But the other groups n the region is not slacking. Some member of the Bible Society in Australia had translated all the verses in the Bible to SMS format and lingo so that people could send some little encouragements to their loved ones.

Story - Westernization? No. Globalisation, Easternisation.

2005-10-03T15:28:00.000+08:00

After mentioning how some people can claim they have been respecting a religion for all these while, can suddenly say it's starting to contradict their beliefs...

But, still they are those who try all they can to spread their beliefs using self-help, blogs and the lastest, podcasts!

Follow the links to see how westerners spread eastern ideas. They even mentioned in their podcast that students at their university can minor in "World Peace" how great?! ha...

Quote - "Life Sucks, According to Buddhists"

2005-10-02T13:22:00.000+08:00

I was surfing once again.. and as usual i always stumble upon things that are new, interesting and full of excitement and life. Today, i found this line, and i quote its title: "Life Sucks, According to Buddhists".

I never once dared to write about religious stuff even though i'm full of it - the negate of it - to be exact. Simply because i try so hard NOT to appear to criticise and thus causing religious unhappiness that may flame into riots... (WAH.. haha.. i not so li hai lah)...

So many peeps around me are christians either their whole life, up till now, or once upon a time, except myself. So i do have lots to talk about Christ.

Taosim is also something very interesting but often neglected be many contemporary thinkers.

Buddhism is my favourite.. cos it deals with a lot of human nature and philosophies, but then again, people these days don't see eye to eye with Siddhartha Gautama's discovery about the dreadful lives people are going through.

Never had the chance to know more about the Muslims and Hindus... but one fine day i shall, so won't comment on that now.

Of cos the author in this ariticle obviously wasn't quite well versed in Buddhism, but i hope the comments he have would have taught him a little bit more..

(notice i still didn't make any personal stand here?) keke~

Quote - "Round up all those who are making you miserable, and I'll treat them, so that you will feel better"

2005-09-30T12:37:00.000+08:00

(repeat)
"Round up all those who are making you miserable, and I'll treat them (through therapy), so that you will feel better" - W.D., Lecturer and Psych-therapist.

I forgot the full name of his name but this is roughly what he said as extracted from "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" which qouted him (hmm.. sounds complicated!).

I was particularly amused by the way he tackles this issue of the human nature to always blame other before himself. Not that i'm implying everyone's like that because I'm sure i'm one of those exceptions, perhaps you are too. But look at those who aren't, and who always feels angry or upset or miserable, and think it's others who brought it to them.

Think again, who's the one to be treated? We only need to change our attitude and all negative feelings would have gone...

Story - StarHub's judgement

2005-09-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

took part in an online survey from StarHub, and there were some questions which relate to personality, while i'm still wondering why they would need to survey me on this, i am quite impress the great pain they took to judge me - accurately:

Thank you for your application to join the programme. If you are selected for the trial, we will let you know by email. In the meantime, based on your answers, we think you are a ...

Life affirming wisdom seeker

You understand that new does not always mean better and you see no reason to skip from one fad to the next. You value things that have stood the test of time, things that have proved themselves. You hate to kill time? that would be cruel, and after all, every moment is precious. You are fully aware that life is a one lap race. You like to enjoy every moment, getting lots out of life, because you put lots in.

You love to be right, and take great pains to avoid ever being wrong. You can be compulsively rational and some see you as a perfectionist. You tend to listen to your "inner critic", your inner set of standards that tends to be quite rigorous, and independent of what other people tell you. Hence, you are often very self-critical, and sometimes critical of others as you expect the same high standards of others that they have imposed on yourselves. Often your this energy is channeled into discipline, organization, a strong work ethic and a love of fairness, justice, and truth.

Famous people who share these traits include:
Hillary Clinton, Alan Greenspan, Ralph Nader, Martha Stewart, Aristotle, Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Blair

Hope my name appears under the "Famous people" one day. lols..

Story - The IQ Test Taken By Millions

2005-09-25T11:05:00.000+08:00

i was surfing and surfing till i came across a banner ad which says:

The IQ Test Taken By Millions
Previously only offered to corporations, schools and certified professionals, many web surfers now flock to this scientifically accurate IQ test only to find out that they aren't as smart as they thought... Continued

nice one... did you feel like you wanted to click on "continue"?

Story - The $1 Challenge

2005-09-24T10:39:00.000+08:00

picture me holding $1 coins in hand. now, i'm going to tell you and the stranger next to you, this:

i'm going to give that stranger 90 cents and give you just 10 cents now. but you have a choice, you can take the 10 cents and let that stranger get away with 90 cents, or, you can chose to decline and both gets none.

what's your choice?

leave you ans in the comments, but dun explain why.

Story - Yao Bu Shi Na Ge Jiao Cute Cute De Yu

2005-08-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

Alamak! dunno how to make blogspot display chinese... so i'll try my best to translate.

This "Cute Cute de Fish" is a book by UFM1003. I'm sure many of you might know. I read it in the newpaper about its launch and a little of it's introduction about "Fang Xia" or "Letting Go".

got rather interested about it but because i was in camp i could not do anything.. as time passes i forgot all about it.

Then i got the opportunity to wander around before my driving lesson. And that day i ended up in POPULAR bookstore and saw this book on the shelf. first thing i check was - guess what - the PRICE! haha.. practical mah... $12.90 then i thought "wah so ex.." I put it back on the shelf.

just as i was going to walk away, i decided to take to look inside. and to my surprise, it's all pictures and so little words like kindergarten school books!! what's the first thing that came to my mind? haha... WAH!!! $12.90 FOR SO LITTLE CONTENT!!!! lolx..

hmm... i look at my watch: 1 hour more before driving starts. i pondered a while and thought i might be able to finish the whole book in an hour's time... so i started reading...

-*reading*-

i didn't finish the book, but i was near the end. and it was really worth the $12.90 or even more!

i was quite touched and almost teared.

especially one part which is in chinese:

"sometimes we are so busy with our lives and work that we forgot what we are doing, why we are doing. and when i stop and think, i come to see the world in a different angle.

that day i was having dinner with my mother at the table. as she place the dishes on the table, i suddenly realize how wrinkled and skinny her hands were.

she's grown older, i've grown bigger..."

"ta lao le, wo zhang da le..."

- SMS from UFM1003 listener.

Quote - "We Learn From History That We Do Not Learn From History"

2005-08-07T20:22:00.000+08:00

It's history again... I still think history* is rather useless despite violent objections from many people...

*selected histories

Quote - "Rape Me"

2005-08-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

A contradiction. Realize?

Story - To Shut Me Up Completely

2005-08-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

once again, i was tossed into a flaming debate and suddenly one of them solemly commented: "Your argument is always dismissive, insisting you are right"

hmmm... what else can i say.

If i agree, he wins. If i prove him wrong, he also wins.

In fact i don't deny it's dismissive, but i'm not insisting i am right. i'm just insisting my idea is better while the best one has not been realized.

Story - "How To Talk To Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime"

2005-07-29T14:22:00.000+08:00

I spotted one of the guys reading yet another self-help: "How To Talk To Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime". curiously, i approached him and tried to talk to him... but rejected - he said he was busy reading.

Story - Breakfast Prayer

2005-07-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

I was having my breakfast at the cook house last saturday morning when two of other friends came to join me.

A: Yucks... it's this bee hoon again.

B: Hey, i think we can go back and ask for bread instead.

A: haiz... i remember this is the first thing i ate at wallaby.

B: Ya.. awful right? i'd rather have the plain white bread.

and then they started their usual before-meal-prayer

hmm.. i wonder what they said to GOD.

Story - The Way to Happiness

2005-07-01T12:03:00.000+08:00

Was browsing some books in a store when i came across this peculiar book that was placed prominently on the shelf at eye level. The Arial title of the book caught my attention:

"The Only Way To Happiness Is Not To Seek It"

and beside it was a sign with the price in BIG font saying:

"Special Offer! $12.90"

well.. here's the implication:
1. people clearly understood the title and decided that happiness is gained by not buying the book. that's why it's now on special offer.

2. it's trying to trick people into believing that they will be happier if they bought it at a cheaper price, eventhough the title told them not to buy it. well, my friend bought it.

well.. it's how ironic isn't it?

Reflect - Love is always a one-sided affair

2005-07-01T11:38:00.001+08:00

What is love?

1. to love is to give everything to your best ability and not expecting any returns.
2. to love is to arrange everything to turn out to be the best situation but accept the worse outcome.

Reflect - One who seeks enjoyment is probably not enjoying himself.

2005-07-01T11:16:00.001+08:00

i'm busy all the time.
most people are free unless they've got things to do.
but i'm busy unless i make myself free.

i don't go out with friends for:
movies, arcade, theme parks, sports, pool, luxury dining, aimless gatherings etc or a more general category - to have fun.

they say i have no life, dunno how to enjoy myself and got no entertainment. only know how to work work work, make money.. blah blah...

but...

they are most of the time bored. why? because fun, relaxation, entertainment are but bubbles.

for the things i do and i rush to do, i find satisfaction and contentment. and i do things not blindly and aimlessly. i have a dream, a goal and a future to fulfil, all things i do should be substantial.

Those who seek enjoyment is probably not enjoying themselves at this point in their lives and thus they constantly search for things to fill their emptiness.

Quote - "Everyone Is Unique"

2005-07-01T11:12:00.000+08:00

well, this is kinda paradoxical. Cos if everyone is "some constant", then everyone is the SAME!

Quote - "If you want your dreams come true, you have to wake up first"

2005-06-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

extract from dear dear's MSN nick. well said dear dear! =)

Story - Eighteen-Year-Old Fox

2005-06-26T15:19:00.000+08:00

It's a story with a little bit of fact: Foxes stay with thier parents since birth and every bit of their lives are taken care of... until... they become adult foxes themselves. and that will be the day that the parent foxes will kick them out of their hideout and from then on, the little fox is to become independant, find it's own home and prey.

so happen mother was on 95.8FM and i over heard this story that was broadcast over the radio titled: << Wo Zi Yang Ni Dao Shi Ba Shui >> (I'll take care of you till you turned 18).

It's a story about an average son and a thoughtful father. father divorced mother and took care of son since young. gave him clothes, food, games, education and a roof over his head. but son was neither brilliant nor diligent and detest studying and things relating to it. Though son showed no interest and school results were just okay, father continued to shower care and concern, providing numerous education opportunities for him.

on son's 16th birthday, father told him "Wo Zi Yang Ni Dao Shi Ba Shui, this rest of your life, you have to take care of yourself." when son heard, he was just giggling away and never took it seriously. on his 18th birthday, father said "son, you are now 18. please leave my house and earn your living by yourself." father chased him out thereafter.

shocked and speechless, the helpless son took his barang barang and wandered into the society. it was like a new world he had never been before. after several days living like a beggar, he finally turned to his grandmother.

grandmother was terribly shocked by father's absurd actions and wanted to carry on spending money on son's education but father stopped them saying "if you want to study, i'll not stop you. but don't you dare use grandmother's money. you should feel ashame living off an old woman!"

left with no choice but a heartless father, son found himself a miserable paying job and started to fund his own studies. striving day and night, son barely could make ends meet. disheartened, he went back to look for help from his father, who said "fine, i'll lend you $1000 every month until you complete your studies and establish your own business. till then, i'll have every right to want back my money!"

better than nothing, son took the offer. knowing that he must be independant, he worked hard and eventually coped with studies and even started his own business at 22. son knew father could help him kick start with his business contacts so he sought help from him. but "I'll help you, but only this time. It's your own business and you should find your own means" was the reply.

one day son and father met. initially could still get along until son suddenly brought back the past about how he felt ill treated. and when he wanted to study, he was not given any support. teens at 18 would be studying and would complete university at his current age.

father was utterly dissapointed that he was badly misunderstood and how grandmother and many others did not see the way he did. he saw kids nowadays rely on parents too much and often become pampered. he thought humans are far worse than foxes he saw on documentary. claims to want to study are merely excuses to escape from reality and the harsh society...

and then.. it ended.

"claims to want to study are merely excuses to escape from reality and the harsh society..." this is what hit me the most. this is exactly want i have been thinking about for the past few months...

Quote - "Why am I on Earth?"

2005-06-26T15:09:00.000+08:00

What's your first answer at this instance?

One day i was travelling in TransIsland and on the way to Funan. As i was passing by Queensway shopping center, a banner with these words hung across and above its entrance caught my attention immediately. I was wondering to myself if it was another Christian campaign kind of thing - but i never found out.

even after reached Funan, i've been pondering over this question and i was amazed by how many ways you can answer it. And it tells alot about the person answering.

It leads me back to topics like "Goal in Life", "Meaning of Life", etc...

Quote - "I think... I should think more"

2005-06-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

was having a normal coversation with my friends the other day and this line came into my mind. i didn't really said it out loud, it was only meant for myself. I believe this is a manifestation of boundless possibilities in life.

at first look, this statements seems to demostrate a "loop", but if you think more about it, you'll soon realise it's a "coil", growing going in bigger and bigger circles. i believe that's how we should learn.

Quote - "I am the unwilling, lead by the unqualified, doing the unneccesssary, for the ungrateful"

2005-06-26T14:54:00.000+08:00

the near exact (i forgot the actual) phrase extracted from a speech given by a SAF warrant officer during a commander's conference.

he shares with the fellow commanders never ever let the men feel this way.